Fantasy, eroticism, intrusive thoughts, imagination, and experimentation: sex is all this and much more. If we think about it, the sexual sphere doesn't just encompass the act itself, but is surrounded by numerous ramifications, often stemming from a single, large seed: sexual fantasies . They are the protagonists of the most hidden eros, representing the intimate fire, that unconscious drive we often fail to identify but which is there, exists, and is evident. In this immense dimension that pervades the mind, women are by no means exempt; in fact, they are often the protagonists of very compelling erotic desires. Freeing themselves from these is the first step toward a healthy sex life free from fears, prejudices, and constraints. Freedom, always and in any case, freedom.
Having sexual fantasies doesn't mean you're a pervert: let's talk about it
Exciting thoughts, small conscious and/or unconscious impulses, erotic desires just waiting to be expressed: sexual fantasies exist and should be embraced in every nuance. The stereotype that sexual fantasies are unhealthy perversions has fortunately been overcome and replaced by a significant awareness. Every sexual fantasy speaks of an erotic dream that lives within us, allowing us to travel and build stories, create scenarios, tease the most hidden parts of the unconscious, and make us realize that even with our minds (especially our minds) we can do anything. Why hide a sexual fantasy when we can express it and turn it into an emotion, an experience, a thrill to be savored throughout the body? All this is normal; leaving it boxed up in the trunk of "fear of judgment" would truly be a waste.
Erotic fantasies are an absolutely normal part of every person's sexual experience.
Developing sexual fantasies means finding a kind of outlet from everyday life; having them is normal, and they're often unconscious desires we've repressed (the first ones appear around adolescence) that, over time, come back to knock on the erotic door, igniting new, stimulating lights within us. They vary with age, they change because we change, and they often differ depending on gender: men are more prone to certain fantasies, women to others, and, as we're about to see, the latter are recurring and extremely common. The female mind runs wild and constructs narratives that are often rich in detail: remember the scenarios from before? Well, we women are incredibly skilled at embroidering stories, unlike even the best Hollywood directors!
Sexual fantasies: the most common among women
The human mind wanders and twists between unexpressed corners and entirely subjective details. That's right; we can't all be the same, and we certainly can't all think the same way. However, and here comes the fascination of thought, there are images that women love in a very similar way; a sort of "feminine" thread that unites us as if cast by an erotic spell and brings us closer than we think. The universe of female fantasies strikes chords that are sometimes unthinkable, sometimes, according to others, even questionable (although one can truly speak of the "questionability" of an erotic desire, ed. ). And don't think that women don't have sexual fantasies, don't think that the sexual scenes in their heads are always and only romantic and princess-like: no, that's almost never the case.
Role play : women like to play and give themselves roles
There are fantasies that never fade, and role-playing is precisely one of them. It has a 90s vibe, yet it's surprisingly still very relevant. Women enjoy writing imaginary stories, becoming the directors of their own sexual experiences. Role-playing is hugely popular, especially when you consider the more mainstream, yet absolutely captivating, roles. Student and professor, teacher and unruly student, nurse and patient, but also dentist and armchair patient. Have you ever imagined a private lesson with a personal trainer? Or even waiting for the plumber to come to your house to fix the leaky pipe under the sink? Him lying on his back, his hands busy working among the pipes, you, like good "helpers," passing the tools from above, accidentally forgetting your underwear and casually wearing a miniskirt. The rest is poetry waiting to be written, but I'd say we love it, we love it!
The Determined Man, the "Bad Man," the Unknown Man: Some Sexual Fantasies That Women Love But Don't Tell (Or Maybe They Do)
A while back, a trend exploded on TikTok that gives me goosebumps when I think back on it. There were videos circulating of these masked men, often playing horror characters, Scream being the most popular. Standing, dressed in all-black, with a slightly unbuttoned black shirt cuffed up to the forearm, leather details, a belt, a buckle, an arm resting on the doorframe: pure fantasy. Those videos perfectly captured the predilection that so many women (including myself, ed. ) have for the figure of the " bad boy " or "masked man." The idea itself might be considered borderline or unhealthy, a sign that something strange is going on, but we're still talking about fantasies, so let's try to take them as such. The scenario is exciting, there's little you can do, and the concept is very simple to grasp: the masked man, the "bad" man, the man you don't know who demonstrates all his pride, his concreteness, his ability to control the situation. It's a bit like Massimo in 365 Days : handsome and damned, the stranger who kidnaps you and does exactly what you want, making you discover things you'd never felt before.
Decision and submission: women's erotic fantasies speak clearly
Women have always liked a decisive man: romance is fine, tenderness and attention are fine, always welcome and pleasant. When it comes to sex, however, a little healthy (and consenting , let's emphasize!) decisiveness is what's needed to experience the best erotic experience. No "coddling," no insecurity: a man who knows what he's doing and takes you exactly how you want and how he wants is pure electric shock. Maybe that's why role-playing is so popular: the idea of a little bondage thrown in, a few handcuffs, a few eye masks, a few candles, a little wax down your back. Try it at least once, but always with mutual consent—that's a must!
Threesomes (and not necessarily with two men)
When the thought sparks, the imagination ignites and seeks new stimuli. Among these, threesomes are always a winner. The eroticism behind a sexual sharing not between two, but between three people is very exciting for women. It's often thought that a female threesome is necessarily aimed at one woman and two men, but that's not always the case. Many women, in fact, often think of a threesome with another woman: the female body is attractive and intriguing, so the fantasy flows accordingly. Regardless of everything and the third person, threesomes remain a great evergreen, and yes, men love them too. From them, however, you'll almost always hear the same answer: "Two women yes, two men no," but tell me if I'm wrong, because I'd be very happy.
Improvising as amateur actresses
Have you ever wanted to be a hot actress? What if you were the one starring? The fantasy is very common and incredibly exciting. Grab your smartphone or video camera and off you go! Recording short erotic videos with your partner is stimulating both now and in the future. The idea of being filmed triggers a different kind of adrenaline, making a woman feel like she's at the center of a narrative she's created and constructed herself, making her feel beautiful, gorgeous, desirable, and absolutely sexy. Amateur is better because it's real: pretense isn't attractive, spontaneity is explosive.
Having sex in an unusual place
Have you ever done it in public places? Have you ever imagined letting yourself go where the risk of being caught is high? At least once, but I think even more. Women love to imagine the place where they'll have sex, and the more unusual it is, the more it excites them. Leaving the traditional bed (as comfortable as it is, of course ) to dive into more spartan, wilder places, full of thrills and the risk of someone seeing us and, in turn, getting aroused. We could spend hours here describing the places that occupy women's erotic thoughts, but the point is different: even the "where" is important and requires the right imagination. Who said that at home, for example, you have to let yourself go only in bed? Experimenting with the home can be a good start.
Sharing your sexual fantasies is good for the couple and consent always comes first.
I once happened to discuss an erotic fantasy with my partner and felt almost "stupid" for doing so. It was actually a simple thought, but it wasn't taken seriously and made me close myself off from what were actually my hidden urges. Communication and empathy must be the foundation when sharing certain things: the slightest thing can put up walls and block the erotic flow, and the one who loses will be you and the person next to you. It takes understanding , it takes open-mindedness (and not everyone necessarily has it and should have it, ed. ), it takes freedom and spontaneity in expressing things. Judgment is useless, it's not required, it has a repulsive function and destroys every positive vibration, we've learned that by now.
Make sure you can talk freely without being judged , because this is precisely the foundation on which a solid relationship can be built. Without transparent communication, fantasies die. And consent? It should be a given, but since sometimes it isn't, I'll reiterate: fantasies are welcome, but when they become reality, make sure there's consent from both (or three) parties.
Don't suppress who you are, never do that.
See you soon! <3
