When I was little, when I was taught about modesty and female honor, everything revolved around preserving virginity.
Virginity was something that made me special, I had to keep it at all costs, until my marriage. Eh yes , until marriage , after which I could give it to my husband, the only worthy person to take something so special, unique and rare.
But is it really so? Is virginity really something that exists and should only be given to a special person? Only after marriage?
From this perspective, I could answer yes , but we must take into consideration the real definition of virginity, that is, the condition in which each of us finds ourselves before having sexual intercourse .
A virgin is someone who has never had sexual intercourse. After a person has had their first sexual encounter, they are said to have "lost their virginity," or more technically, to be "sexually active."
If, instead, we consider the loss of virginity as the breaking of the hymen, this phantom membrane of which (it is said) all we are gifted and that during the first intercourse it tears, producing a little bleeding (irrefutable proof of our virginity) then I have some clarifications to make.
As I mentioned, I was raised to truly believe in the fairy tale of virginity, to truly believe that I had this special little door that only one person could open, and once I did, I could never go back , I would never be the same again. and, even worse, no one would want or love me anymore.
Spoiler: It's not like that!
So what is the hymen?
I assure you, whether you are sexually active or not, you have it and you can see it .
All you need is a mirror. Got it? Great, now get into a comfortable position and gently spread your labia with two fingers to see the entrance to your vagina. There it is! Everything surrounding the entrance to your vagina is the hymen, which can be defined as the "vaginal corona."
Your hymen, or vaginal corona, is unique , like every part of your body. Being a fold of tissue, it can have various shapes and colors.
Only in very rare vulvas is the hymen a completely closed membrane. This peculiarity can be detected by the absence of menstrual blood. In these rare cases, the only thing that can be done is a gynecological examination, where the best way to resolve the problem can be assessed.
Will I bleed and feel pain during my first time?
In reality, this isn't necessarily true. There are very few nerve endings inside the vulva, and it's rare to experience pain or even bleeding.
🆘 If one of the two things happens, however, it is best to look for the causes of the pain which are absolutely not attributable to a broken hymen, as already mentioned. 🆘
Simply put , pain or small amounts of blood loss may occur if , before penetration, the area has not been adequately lubricated and if the person does not act with care and delicacy. of which our vulva he needs .
In fact, you may not have any blood loss during the first intercourse but notice this phenomenon after some time , perhaps due to lack of lubrication , precisely, or particular vehemence during intercourse that causes small internal lacerations.
What a relief, huh?
My hymen is still there! No one took it away or broke it. It just changes shape as I grow, just like my ears, nose, or hands.
The first time isn't something to fear or suffer, but something extremely intimate and profound, and above all, there are infinite first times! Have you ever wondered if you could use a sex toy even if you've never had sex? Of course! In fact, being more aware of your body will help you experience your first time with ease. Try using a small external toy that's, above all, useful for achieving your first orgasm . Many girls in our community started with this toy 👇🏻 Have you ever heard of Feeky Feeky's Lipstick? 💄
So, if your first time is approaching, don't be caught unprepared and also equip yourself with the right lube. I recommend this one here 👉🏻 LUBRICANT
And no, don't wait until your first orgasm. As an older sister, I can tell you that anxiety, fear, and stress are the number one enemies of sexual satisfaction.
Whatever age you are or whatever experience you have or have not had, your body is whole and will remain so.
Virginity is mostly a social construct. Don't ever feel wrong about it.
Break the rules! Never let anyone tell you that what makes you feel good isn't good enough. What makes you feel good is always good enough! If it doesn't suit them, that's their problem. Pay the price of being unpopular, of being called a bitch, of being called a witch. Because what you gain is infinitely more valuable. You have to like yourself, not please . - Michela Murgia -
