Many people say they love it madly, others don't want to know anything about it . In between these two categories there is a third: those who " would like to but... " Anal sex is perhaps one of the most discussed topics in the entire sexual sphere ; accustomed to experiencing it online with overly glossy mainstream porn , this practice manages to sow curiosity, desire, fears, and doubts all at the same time. Often linked to stereotypes or left in the secret of one's private life, anal continues to intrigue. But why don't so many of you try it? What's stopping you from trying it, and how can you resolve all these doubts?
Anal Sex: Why People Don't Do It (But Want to)
Most people are afraid of feeling pain , but there are also those who fear the notorious Mikado effect (which can, however, be avoided with the right precautions). Although to a lesser extent, some of you avoid it because "the thought makes you uncomfortable" or because you don't feel adequately informed on the subject. In short, around the vast sphere of anal sex Many insecurities reign , but we're here to try to dissolve them . Sometimes, desire is overpowered by fear, whether it's fear of pain or fear of unpleasant consequences. So, what should you do? Try to relax as much as possible and try, at least for a few minutes, to leave intrusive thoughts aside.
The "no"s to anal sex: the fear of pain
It's more than normal to be afraid of "feeling pain." Many of you have made this clear by responding to the survey launched on Instagram and yes, the idea of pain is the first major obstacle to face when talking about anal sex . A plausible thought, if you consider the delicate area and all the "tension" that physiologically speaking "nestles" around it. It's not always easy to relax, especially if we're talking about the first time. Complicating and adding anxiety to the practice is certainly also a good dose of misinformation or Unpleasant stories from those who tried it and were not satisfied . Who said that a negative experience of some friend or girlfriend must necessarily spill over into yours?
There are no scientific rules for anal sex, but some tips can certainly help.
Let's start from the assumption that every body is different, but so is its reaction to each type of stimulus. When it comes to anal sex, pain can be a common side effect, but that's not always the case. To avoid it, you must first ask yourself: "Am I relaxed enough ?" - "Am I with the right person?" - " Am I really sure I want to do this? " Embrace your curiosity about the practice, but do it with conviction and without any kind of pressure. Consent and openness towards sex must always—and we never tire of repeating it—be the foundation. Without these, everything else will be completely in vain.
Well, what now? The situation has become intimate, the heat is starting to build, the desire to try is there, but there's also a great fear of pain. "How can I relax?" I know you've asked yourself this over and over again, and the truth is that relaxation occurs when you free your mind from preconceptions and limiting mental obstructions. Let your body soften, arrive at the moment already prepared , take advantage of the erotic intimacy that has been created to tease all the erogenous zones of the body . The more aroused your body is, the more the anal area will also become aroused and, suddenly, it will release all tension.
Foreplay, lubricants, and carefree play: the allies of anal sex
A great ally of anal sex is lubricant . Trite but true: lubricants help a lot and create that "gliding" effect that is both pleasant and very useful. The ideal would be to use water -gel based lubricants (avoid saliva, maybe use it afterwards 😉 ) : on the site you can find several and some of these are specifically for anal sex (one is even coconut, very popular! ). Thanks to the lubricant you will soften the area around the anus and penetration will be easier . There is no need to overdo it and go slowly: there is always time to increase. A little product directly on the area and a little product also on the penis or the toy you want to use , so that everything is just the right amount of slippery.
Anal sex, the fear of the "Mikado effect": how to avoid making a mess
After pain, the other major fear associated with anal sex is the Mikado effect . The name itself suggests it, and it gives you an idea: many people avoid this practice for fear of encountering "unpleasant situations," such as the possibility of seeing a condom stained with feces. It's entirely plausible—it's the nature of the human body—but there's no reason to be shocked . I have friends who've experienced it and were devastated, others laughed, and still others said they were extremely embarrassed: all possible scenarios, but above all , more than normal situations when it comes to anal.
There's a solution, and it's called preparation : have you ever tried an intimate douche ? These are high-quality rubber ampoules designed to "clean" the affected area internally . After filling them, insert the cannula (tapered and comfortable, not at all uncomfortable) and press the pump, releasing the liquid. Intimate douches have multiple purposes: cleansing, refreshing, and preparing the area for the next sexual encounter.
Preparing for anal sex with sex toys: the best ones to use
Sex toys (especially sex toys) are also excellent allies in preparing for anal sex . Thanks to these, not only will you gradually begin to stimulate the anal area, but you will also gradually get used to the sensation. There are a huge number of toys available: if you're a beginner, you could start with small butt plugs made of soft silicone (don't overdo the size). Use them alone and begin to become familiar with your body: let yourself go, discover pleasure, and let the excitement take its course. Anal beads are also excellent , capable of providing multiple sensations at once. The ideal is to always start slowly and eventually "level up" when you feel truly ready .
Anal sex toys are friends, they're not judges, nor do they want to hurt you. However, a predisposition for anal sex comes before any plug or vibrator: try it only if you're truly convinced . Don't do it out of "duty," don't be afraid of other people's judgment, and don't feel guilty if you want to wait a little longer.
Conclusion: Anal sex doesn't hurt, if done right.
If the idea of anal sex excites you to death, try as much as possible to put aside the "box of stereotypes and prejudices" that this practice has carried with it for years. Anal sex doesn't hurt, if it's done well. If your mind is free and your body is completely relaxed , everything else will follow . Of course, the positions will also help, but it's a mix. a combination of several elements: predisposition, preparation, slowness, proper lubrication, respect, mutual feedback, proper hygiene.
Gently, slowly, with mutual respect: anal sex can be a truly wonderful discovery.
Don't be afraid, and if you have any questions, Feeky will be here to help!
See you soon! <3
